Things Not To Talk About On A First Date

I thought that everyone knows what NOT to talk about on a first date or meeting. Apparently, not everyone is aware of the unwritten laws of what you can and cannot say. I have only gone on three internet dates and I am shocked that people are unaware of the simple conversation etiquette.

Off Limits Topic #1: Your Ex. Never talk about the ex. It is too telling on what a schumk you are and it proves that you are not really over it. If everything you and the new person are talking about reminds you of something about your ex....either keep it to yourself or get back together with the ex. No one....I mean NO ONE wants to hear these stories - especially on the first date.


Off Limits Topic #2: What ever dorky obsession you have with anything. Everyone has a inner geek. Some are more prevalent than others. You maybe super passionate about Dr. Who but unless you met at a Dr. Who website - keep this on the low down. Everyone has passions like this, lets just keep that one to ourselves until date five or so. Even if you love Dr. Who so much that you pattern your wardrobe after him.....again, keep that one on the down low.


Off Limits Topic #3: The excretions of any bodily fluid or lack there of. Telling me you woke up in the middle of the night and were dry heaving...not exactly what I want to hear the first time I meet you. All I am going to think is that you have puke breath....not really the thought you want going through my head if you planned on kissing me good night.


Off Limits Topic #4: Recent run ins with the law. People get pulled over all the time. We all understand that, however, getting a DUI is not something that should come up in casual conversation. And not with someone you just met. Personally, this is a deal breaker for me....anyone who knows my ex knows I have seen way too many of these from my partner. Not sure what was going to get accomplished by telling me this, other than do not ride with you.


Off Limits Topic #5: Pet stories. They are only funny to you. Do not even bring any up as a rule of thumb. Unless this pet story ended up on the evening news it should be kept to yourself.

As a general rule, I try to talk as much as I listen. And I will listen more than I will talk. Interject with opinions and comments but do not hog the conversation and pay attention to how much you are talking. If you start trying to talk too much you might run the risk of talking about the off limits topics I have outlined. Happy Dating.

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Best Online Intro

"I think you might be the uberwoman.......or antichrist. I like it either way."

Truth IS Stranger Than Fiction

When I started writing this blog I thought that I would start off with a few things as they happened to me for inspiration. Then I would drift off into some of the REALLY odd things that have occurred in my life. So far - this is my life as it unfolds. I had a dear friend of mine tell me that my life was stranger than fiction....that it is. It is not for everyone....but I love it and would not have my life any other way. It is crazy, insane, unpredictable, and all mine. I AM that person people tell the most intimate things to for no reason. I AM that person that draws the wierdo's to them. I AM that person that can take it and enjoy it for that crazy moment in time that it is. I think my experiences are hilarious.....and I hope you all do too. My goal in life is to laugh...not just laugh....but laugh from my inside out. For the laugh to start as rumble and a giggle....and let it shake me....then build into a roar...and let it out with the loudest "HA!".....that is the type of joy I think is important. Yours may differ in intensity and build to something else....but you know what I mean.....it always starts with a rumble...and builds to that piece of joy...of happiness. I hope that everyone enjoys my blog, I really like sharing it.

Clumsy Does Not Begin To Describe Me.

I know that people think they are clumsy people. That they have done some really dumb things. Usually the best thing that can come out of a clumsy episode is a good story. I on the other hand, have clumsy stories that could happen to anyone but ALWAYS happen to me. I chipped my front tooth yesterday. This is the same tooth a few years ago that I crushed in half with my tennis racket. Ok, I know you are wondering how does one crush a FRONT tooth with a tennis racket.

The day was overcast. No rain, just clouds. My ex husband and I decided on a nice game of tennis for the afternoon. He lobs a serve my way. It was pretty high up. I look up and reach with my racket.....and the glare from the sun simultaneously blinds me. In reaction to the blinding sun was to cover my eyes. That is when the racket came crashing into my tooth, that crumbled into a million little pieces. I have never played tennis again. This was six months before my wedding. The Dentist did fix up my tooth so I was presentable again in public - not pretty, presentable.

That was until yesterday when I took my plastic mug and went to take a sip of water. For some reason I hit my front tooth just right to have the fake part of my tooth fall out. So now I am back to rocking the hill billy tooth look.

*Update! Went to the dentist. Found out my insurance gets a heck of a discount on veneers. Looks like I am getting four of my front teeth done. I have been wanting this done for years. I guess my bad luck has turned into GOOD! I am actually getting the smile that I have always wanted at price of fixing one of my teeth. Maybe being clumsy is a good thing. I did not get a great story out of it but boy did I get a happy ending!!!

MORE Bad Poses By Men On Dating Sites.

The more I look at these dating websites the more I think - Men really need a lot of help. I have a new crop of bad poses and what they convey.

Bad Pose #5 Taking your picture with other women.
Impact Showing off and/or "Look at me I know ladies" (and they like me enough to take a picture)
Alternative Just a thought - but how about a picture just of yourself. We live in the digital age, you can take more than one picture. It is not like you have only twenty four pictures you can take and then you have to run out and get them developed. You got a camera phone just start taking pictures until you get one you like of yourself. It might take a hundred....but well worth the effort.

Bad Pose #6 Standing next to your hotter guy friends
Impact We might get to know you to get to know them.
Alternative See answer for Bad Pose #5

Bad Pose #7 The "serious" non-smiling face
Impact You either look pissed off or constipated.
Alternative Just smile. It will not kill you. And the serious face is the one we see when we piss you off, we will see that soon enough. Let us think of you in a happy situation.

Bad Pose #8 In Fire Fighter Uniform posing with other fire fighters while a fire is going on in the back ground.
Impact Slacker. Put the camera down and do, I don't know, YOU'RE JOB! Love seeing my tax dollars at work for a nice group photo while someone's house burns down in the background.
Alternative It is a crazy thought but how about taking a picture with your buddies in uniform, say ON YOUR OWN TIME!! **Being in uniform during a fire would ONLY work if it were a picture of you coming out of the fire saving a grandmother, kitten, or puppy.

My Favorite Pick Up Line Used On Me Ever

You're hair looks nice, wanna make out?