Online Dating - Why It Sucks.

Ali and I are still a part of this one paid site for online dating. We have had ZERO good results with it. As a matter of fact she got this gem of a opener from a gentleman.... we shall dissect it as we go, just so much to comment about. My comments will be between {}.

"Hi, how are you doing? Good I hope. I am fine. I had some time now, so I decided to email you this letter.
I wanted to let you know I had read your profile and I believe you and I got a lot of the same interest{we shall see}, I know we live some miles apart. But I will still like to email you and let see what may happen?, only if you want to. My time here on match is up on 2-25-10, and I will be moving on to some other site to see if I can fine {fine/find whatever} the woman for me, if you’re not the one. So, I don’t know if you would like to email each other to get to know each other better and give it a try. I am new to this on line dating thing, I will like to tell you some more things about myself, and if you like them, write me back, But remember this “NO one can match 100%. “ {and new to writing and thanks for reminding me that there are no perfect people out there....because with this start - I thought it was you}
I am looking forward to meet you,{ease up there boy who said I would meet you? I can barely get through this email} and make new friend and maybe something more later on. If that is ok with you? I don’t know what to say, so I am going to open myself up here, and I hope you like it.
Ok about myself:
I don’t know what to say, but I wanted you to know some more stuff that I feel is good about me, and what friends and family tell me all the time.
I am someone with high self-confidence, {lacking in grammar and spelling skills}I feel quite comfortable interacting with other people. I find the company of others very stimulating and enjoy meeting new people. I am relaxed in groups, and make people around me comfortable.
I am someone who is oriented with familial matters; I value the company of family. I am someone high in openness; I have a strong appreciation for beauty, both in art and nature. And I am also very easily absorbed in music and art, as well as natural phenomena. Another aspect of my openness is my emotional insight; that is, my probably to have good access to and awareness of my own emotions.
I appear to “take things as they come” and enjoy having a good time. I believe it’s me that allows people to feel comfortable interacting with others without feeling insecure and vulnerable. (But I am a funny guy :) {I am fat}
I like fishing, boating, driving, walking, camping, movies, going to the clubs (sometimes just to have some fun) {so why do you go to the movies and fish?}, I am looking for a woman, who has the heart of gold, I don’t want someone who into playing games, I want a woman, who knows how to have fun, and is funny, understanding, caring, lovable, and someone who knows what she wants out of life, one who is not (to) shy, and lets me in to know about her, I want to know what’s on the inside.
Well if you think this may be you? So then why not try it, you never know for sure? Take a good look at my profile, Like I said above, I don’t play any games, when it comes to the heart or someone feelings.
Think about it? What’s a couple of more miles, who knows, we could be made for each other?
Well I think that is good for now, if you email me back and want to know more about me, and I believe you can get a picture of what kind of man I am, if you want to email each other here on this site that’s cool, or you can email me at (thekissrule/AT/gmail/Dot/com){YEP HE SPELLED IT OUT!!!} I hope to hear from you soon.{Do not count on it buddy}
In till {what?? maybe he learned to spell with phonics} then, take care of yourself.
Ron"

Moved Out Of My Single Girl Apartment

To save gas and money I have moved out of my single girl apartment and moved into one of my bestie's house. I shall refer to her as Ali. Ali and I spend most of our time together. Either crashing at my apartment or her house. So we decided to move in together to save some cash. Also to keep us focused on fixing up her house so we can sell it.

In this economy we really need to save as much as we can. Got to save money for the super important things like clothes, vacations, and going out. We figure we will save money by only keeping up one residence instead of two. But mostly we are thinking our going out costs are going to go down. I mean - we are in the same location - all we need is some Jager and beer and we are set!

In this move comes Ali's small dog. And with me comes two cats and a small dog. By the way - one of the cat's is slightly unstable. I refer to him as emotionally retarded...which by saying him and emotionally retarded in the same sentence is redundant. But I digress. So far it has been interesting watch them all get use to each other. I am sure I will have tons of stories (I can hear the collective yawn now). Rest assure - I will make sure to only talk about the entertaining stories and keep the mundane details to myself.

Of course the day I move out is the day that the entire United States got hit with snow. Every state got snow - including Hawaii!!! I am not sure why this should shock or upset me.....for I am the most clumsy and unlucky human being on this planet. Everyone will be super happy to know, I touched no boxes. I hired movers. I have all my teeth and no broken bones. So it was an super successful move.

Look forward to more Claire and Ali stories.....they are always fun and a tad bit epic. :)

Teeth Are Back......But For How Long???

The new veneers are back in. Let us all hope that God does not hate this set and I can keep them. I have mixed feelings about this set of teeth. Mostly because they were never suppose to come out in the first place. This set went in so easily it was not even painful. The last time my mouth was sore for a while after getting them put in. Felt like someone punched me in the face. This time....no pain at all. I am hoping this is a good sign.

Only time will tell if this set are Claire-proof.

If You Are Not Hitting On Me - Not Giving You My Phone Number Should Not Be A Big Deal

As I have stated before in my blog - I am not really looking for anyone at this point. I have been very disappointed with the quality and selection of men available currently. Since I am not interested in being picked up - this is causing an interesting opposite reaction. Men are hitting on me like crazy. Last night I am talking to a gentleman at a bar. He eventually asked for my number. I told him I do not give my number out and he suggested I take his number. I politely told him that I would not be calling him so there really is no point. Cut and dry. He then gets defensive to say that he is not trying to hit on me. I said "Then you should have no issue with not exchanging numbers". Apparently, he did. Some how he got more upset.

All I have to say to this is how can you be so invested in a conversation with me after thirty minutes? I mean come on! Really?? You are getting pissed off at me?

Oddly though on Friday a totally different guy said he was hitting on my friend to make me jealous so he could really hit on me. Not sure on how many levels this is fucked up. But it is extensive. I politely told him "I am not interested in being hit on and to save it for someone who could appreciate it." Again, cut and dry. Flat out honest. To this he says "You are not that good looking". Yep - that is what he said which I promptly responded "Then you have no problem walking away then." He still goes on to talk about how he is a Doctor. I then told him "I am pretty sure this whole 'I'm a Doctor' works on lots of girls. Just not me. It is not going to happen so please leave me alone."

Yes people this really happened. I could not make this stuff up because the truth is beyond entertaining enough.

Yep - Totally Broke My Nose.

Was at the doctor today and I mentioned that I might have broken my nose and asked if it looked okay. The only way to find this out is to take some rather expensive images of my face.....known to everyone as x-rays. I did in fact break my beak. The doctor did give me mad props for my ability to reset my own nose. So I am well on my way to becoming my own doctor....I figure I should cut out the middle man anyway. As much time as I spend in ER's.

Dave Barry's Guide to Guys

I was just handed this book http://www.amazon.com/Dave-Barrys-Complete-Guide-Guys/dp/0449910261. From my cursory look - this book is right on the money. The gentlemen who gave me the book said that I would understand guys better, that I may not want anything to do with them, but I would understand them better. I believe him to be true with that statement.