Clumsy Does Not Begin To Describe Me.

I know that people think they are clumsy people. That they have done some really dumb things. Usually the best thing that can come out of a clumsy episode is a good story. I on the other hand, have clumsy stories that could happen to anyone but ALWAYS happen to me. I chipped my front tooth yesterday. This is the same tooth a few years ago that I crushed in half with my tennis racket. Ok, I know you are wondering how does one crush a FRONT tooth with a tennis racket.

The day was overcast. No rain, just clouds. My ex husband and I decided on a nice game of tennis for the afternoon. He lobs a serve my way. It was pretty high up. I look up and reach with my racket.....and the glare from the sun simultaneously blinds me. In reaction to the blinding sun was to cover my eyes. That is when the racket came crashing into my tooth, that crumbled into a million little pieces. I have never played tennis again. This was six months before my wedding. The Dentist did fix up my tooth so I was presentable again in public - not pretty, presentable.

That was until yesterday when I took my plastic mug and went to take a sip of water. For some reason I hit my front tooth just right to have the fake part of my tooth fall out. So now I am back to rocking the hill billy tooth look.

*Update! Went to the dentist. Found out my insurance gets a heck of a discount on veneers. Looks like I am getting four of my front teeth done. I have been wanting this done for years. I guess my bad luck has turned into GOOD! I am actually getting the smile that I have always wanted at price of fixing one of my teeth. Maybe being clumsy is a good thing. I did not get a great story out of it but boy did I get a happy ending!!!

The Dick Picture Mystery Has Been Solved!!

Allow me to set the stage for this one....I was hanging (no pun intended) out with this guy we will call Ted. Ted had an eclectic group of friends. Ranging from professional business people to a guy who appears to be homeless and sits on the couch at every party. In the mix of this group of people were the hard core bachelors who partied like they were twenty, but closer to forty. They are the types that still sleep on floor at each other's houses without a blanket or pillow. They just curl up and sleep/pass out - whatever.

Let me just say that this group was super fun to see a concert with. It had been years since I had seen a live performance before meeting them. They really opened my eyes to how much fun that seeing a band can be. And I thank them all for that.

It has been over a year since I have hung out with Ted and his friends. One of his friends - who we will call Johnny Q. - we always got a long very well. After Ted and I stopped spending time together. I did what you do....delete all the numbers of his friends you use to hang out with and move on. Apparently Johnny Q. did not delete my number. He also thought after getting hammered one early evening (5 pm is when the text came in) that taking a snap shot of his penis and sending it to me was appropriate too. All this time I thought it was the ONE guy I gave my phone number to in a bar. But nooooo, it was good old Johnny Q. He contacted me on instant messenger to fess up to his picture texting. Now knowing it was Johnny Q. I laughed. I laughed a lot. He said "I thought girls would like a picture of a cock." Yep folks, that is what he said. I was pretty shocked - and it is not an easy thing to do to me. Awkwardly I said "Well, at least I know who sent me the dick picture." Where he responds with a "So, you wanna hang out sometime?" I cannot make this stuff up. It just happens to me - ALL THE TIME!! I of course responded "No thanks!" and promptly deleted him as a friend on facebook.