7 Days Since My Last Accident

I like to celebrate my wins in life. You are probably wondering....now what happened seven days ago??? Not much just totaled my car. The car I bought because my ex husband totaled the car that I loved.....that one - that is the one I rammed into the back end of a Tahoe. I had to run a couple errands on the way to work. Just so it is clear - I was sober when the accident happened. I did however have some unsual items in the car at the time of the crash. One was a rather large bag of cat food. The other was my largest suitcase that can fit a dead body in. Not that I have....yet.

So I run my errand to get the cat food. I am on my way home when I hit the red light. I see the light turn green and it takes a while for everyone in front of me to get going....and when we do a piece of paper floats off of my passenger seat. Which of course draws my attention to it for a split second. In that split second....the traffic in front of me stopped. I slam on my breaks, way too late. The front end of my car ends up concave and my air bags deployed. Or as a friend of mine has said the Clairebags have deployed. Indeed they have. The smoke....not powder....SMOKE from the air bags is almost more scary than the accident itself. I first check my teeth - and thank goodness they were all there - no damage what so ever. I could really care less about the car....lets face it people these pearly whites have caused me more heart ache than anything else on earth. There is a silver lining....teeth are fine, I am fine, the guy I hit is fine. All was as well as it could be.

The motorcycle cop shows up - I am totally expecting him to be an asshole. Cuz lets face it most cops are. Instead he was very nice even pulled my suitcase out of the car. Gave me a ticket but he was nice about it. He even waited on the side of the road with me until my car was towed away and while I waited for Ali to come and pick me up. That must have been a site to see. I had to look like some retarded hobo. Standing there with a giant bag of cat food and suitcase I could sleep in....luckily Ali was there very quickly and I did not have to wait for long by the side of the road. But what a vision I made that morning with the cat food and ginorma suitcase.

I have since talked with my insurance company and there was more damage than the car was worth - thus the totaling of the car. Which works out really for the good because I was planning on selling the car. And what I was going to sell the car for - the insurance company paid me a little more than twice that amount. So I am not sure if subconsciously I wrecked or the planets were aligning for the good for me. What ever the reason....I have had seven consecutive days since that have been accident free. So yeah me! And yeah I still have my teeth.

I Need To Move Back to Civilization

Oh dear Lord the drive to work is epic. I lay in bed and dread the actual drive into the office. And when I am in the office I dread the drive home. I even stay late at the office to ensure I do not get stuck in any traffic. I drive by at least three schools. And a dozen church's. Wednesday night Bible study is a killer. No matter when I leave the office it is an hour and half drive home.

When I get close to home there are only a couple bars to hang out at. One is relatively cool, except someone has "censored" the juke box. So no songs with any type of cussing or sexual innuendo. That may not seem like a big deal....except all songs have some cussing and lets face it - everything has to do with sex. So the beer is good, the crowd is cool....but the music is horrible. There is the bar across the street from this one - we have nic named it "The Cave". The Cave is a vacuum of space and time. You have no idea what day it is in there, nor the time, nor the season, nor anything. For some reason The Cave removes all responsibility and only insanity ensues there. This place can only be visited VERY infrequently. The last bar on the way to the house...well, it is a grave yard. The oldest people in all of Georgia hang out there. They all ask me where I moved from to be there.....I tell them. Every response so far has been "Well that was dumb. Where you lived before is way better than this." Thanks guys, like I needed you all to tell me this.

Here is another kicker about living out in East Bumble. NO LIQUOR STORE. I am not sure if you understand this but there are NO LIQUOR STORES. AT ALL. PERIOD. NONE. I can get beer or wine at the grocery store.....which is fine. Except I hate grocery stores and just about everyone in them. But sometimes you want a cocktail. Now I have to plan ahead. Buy it on my epic drive home. Which to me is dangerous because I am so tempted to start drinking while in the car. I have not but it is tempting.

I miss my single girl apartment. I miss living in civilization. I miss my old life. :(

Online Dating - Why It Sucks.

Ali and I are still a part of this one paid site for online dating. We have had ZERO good results with it. As a matter of fact she got this gem of a opener from a gentleman.... we shall dissect it as we go, just so much to comment about. My comments will be between {}.

"Hi, how are you doing? Good I hope. I am fine. I had some time now, so I decided to email you this letter.
I wanted to let you know I had read your profile and I believe you and I got a lot of the same interest{we shall see}, I know we live some miles apart. But I will still like to email you and let see what may happen?, only if you want to. My time here on match is up on 2-25-10, and I will be moving on to some other site to see if I can fine {fine/find whatever} the woman for me, if you’re not the one. So, I don’t know if you would like to email each other to get to know each other better and give it a try. I am new to this on line dating thing, I will like to tell you some more things about myself, and if you like them, write me back, But remember this “NO one can match 100%. “ {and new to writing and thanks for reminding me that there are no perfect people out there....because with this start - I thought it was you}
I am looking forward to meet you,{ease up there boy who said I would meet you? I can barely get through this email} and make new friend and maybe something more later on. If that is ok with you? I don’t know what to say, so I am going to open myself up here, and I hope you like it.
Ok about myself:
I don’t know what to say, but I wanted you to know some more stuff that I feel is good about me, and what friends and family tell me all the time.
I am someone with high self-confidence, {lacking in grammar and spelling skills}I feel quite comfortable interacting with other people. I find the company of others very stimulating and enjoy meeting new people. I am relaxed in groups, and make people around me comfortable.
I am someone who is oriented with familial matters; I value the company of family. I am someone high in openness; I have a strong appreciation for beauty, both in art and nature. And I am also very easily absorbed in music and art, as well as natural phenomena. Another aspect of my openness is my emotional insight; that is, my probably to have good access to and awareness of my own emotions.
I appear to “take things as they come” and enjoy having a good time. I believe it’s me that allows people to feel comfortable interacting with others without feeling insecure and vulnerable. (But I am a funny guy :) {I am fat}
I like fishing, boating, driving, walking, camping, movies, going to the clubs (sometimes just to have some fun) {so why do you go to the movies and fish?}, I am looking for a woman, who has the heart of gold, I don’t want someone who into playing games, I want a woman, who knows how to have fun, and is funny, understanding, caring, lovable, and someone who knows what she wants out of life, one who is not (to) shy, and lets me in to know about her, I want to know what’s on the inside.
Well if you think this may be you? So then why not try it, you never know for sure? Take a good look at my profile, Like I said above, I don’t play any games, when it comes to the heart or someone feelings.
Think about it? What’s a couple of more miles, who knows, we could be made for each other?
Well I think that is good for now, if you email me back and want to know more about me, and I believe you can get a picture of what kind of man I am, if you want to email each other here on this site that’s cool, or you can email me at (thekissrule/AT/gmail/Dot/com){YEP HE SPELLED IT OUT!!!} I hope to hear from you soon.{Do not count on it buddy}
In till {what?? maybe he learned to spell with phonics} then, take care of yourself.
Ron"

Moved Out Of My Single Girl Apartment

To save gas and money I have moved out of my single girl apartment and moved into one of my bestie's house. I shall refer to her as Ali. Ali and I spend most of our time together. Either crashing at my apartment or her house. So we decided to move in together to save some cash. Also to keep us focused on fixing up her house so we can sell it.

In this economy we really need to save as much as we can. Got to save money for the super important things like clothes, vacations, and going out. We figure we will save money by only keeping up one residence instead of two. But mostly we are thinking our going out costs are going to go down. I mean - we are in the same location - all we need is some Jager and beer and we are set!

In this move comes Ali's small dog. And with me comes two cats and a small dog. By the way - one of the cat's is slightly unstable. I refer to him as emotionally retarded...which by saying him and emotionally retarded in the same sentence is redundant. But I digress. So far it has been interesting watch them all get use to each other. I am sure I will have tons of stories (I can hear the collective yawn now). Rest assure - I will make sure to only talk about the entertaining stories and keep the mundane details to myself.

Of course the day I move out is the day that the entire United States got hit with snow. Every state got snow - including Hawaii!!! I am not sure why this should shock or upset me.....for I am the most clumsy and unlucky human being on this planet. Everyone will be super happy to know, I touched no boxes. I hired movers. I have all my teeth and no broken bones. So it was an super successful move.

Look forward to more Claire and Ali stories.....they are always fun and a tad bit epic. :)

Teeth Are Back......But For How Long???

The new veneers are back in. Let us all hope that God does not hate this set and I can keep them. I have mixed feelings about this set of teeth. Mostly because they were never suppose to come out in the first place. This set went in so easily it was not even painful. The last time my mouth was sore for a while after getting them put in. Felt like someone punched me in the face. This time....no pain at all. I am hoping this is a good sign.

Only time will tell if this set are Claire-proof.

If You Are Not Hitting On Me - Not Giving You My Phone Number Should Not Be A Big Deal

As I have stated before in my blog - I am not really looking for anyone at this point. I have been very disappointed with the quality and selection of men available currently. Since I am not interested in being picked up - this is causing an interesting opposite reaction. Men are hitting on me like crazy. Last night I am talking to a gentleman at a bar. He eventually asked for my number. I told him I do not give my number out and he suggested I take his number. I politely told him that I would not be calling him so there really is no point. Cut and dry. He then gets defensive to say that he is not trying to hit on me. I said "Then you should have no issue with not exchanging numbers". Apparently, he did. Some how he got more upset.

All I have to say to this is how can you be so invested in a conversation with me after thirty minutes? I mean come on! Really?? You are getting pissed off at me?

Oddly though on Friday a totally different guy said he was hitting on my friend to make me jealous so he could really hit on me. Not sure on how many levels this is fucked up. But it is extensive. I politely told him "I am not interested in being hit on and to save it for someone who could appreciate it." Again, cut and dry. Flat out honest. To this he says "You are not that good looking". Yep - that is what he said which I promptly responded "Then you have no problem walking away then." He still goes on to talk about how he is a Doctor. I then told him "I am pretty sure this whole 'I'm a Doctor' works on lots of girls. Just not me. It is not going to happen so please leave me alone."

Yes people this really happened. I could not make this stuff up because the truth is beyond entertaining enough.

Yep - Totally Broke My Nose.

Was at the doctor today and I mentioned that I might have broken my nose and asked if it looked okay. The only way to find this out is to take some rather expensive images of my face.....known to everyone as x-rays. I did in fact break my beak. The doctor did give me mad props for my ability to reset my own nose. So I am well on my way to becoming my own doctor....I figure I should cut out the middle man anyway. As much time as I spend in ER's.